#05. Coal Minin' Town
Music: Oreburgh City (Night)
What? No. Shut up. I have tons.
Maybe you should take me to the gym anywaynot that I need a badge or anything..
I'm not as fast as you, it's one of my few flaws. You know that.
Jorge, stop comparing things to your dad. All dads are inferior to my dad anyway. Jorge? JORGE.
Maybe I will. Maybe I will...
First thing's first! Pokémon center!
Is.. is this a trick question?
Uhhhhh, you can't power things with dreams. That's just stupid.
Into the coal mines.
Education!
Totally in it for the items though.
So, this is a coal mine huh? Somehow I thought it'd be more dangerous than this but hey, lil' girl right there in the corner.
Letting anim— minerals wander around everywhere. This can't be safe.
Geodude
Geodude are found in fields and mountains. Mistaking them for boulders, people often step or trip on them. When Geodude sleeps deeply, it buries itself halfway into the ground. It will not awaken even if hikers step on it unwittingly. In the morning, this Pokémon rolls downhill in search of food. It uses its arms to steadily climb back up steep mountain paths. Proud of their sturdy bodies, they bash against each other in a contest to prove whose is harder. The longer a Geodude lives, the more its edges are chipped and worn away, making it more rounded in appearance. However, this Pokémon's disposition will remain hard, craggy, and rough always.
Choro Notes: Good ol' Geodude. Your basic Rock-type Pokémon. A solid Pokémon unless your opponent is packing ground, water, ice, fighting, steel or any special-class move. So.. a lot of stuff. Still solid though!
HulkaMatt Notes: Listen. I have mixed feelings on Geodude. Actually thats a lie, I think Geodude is really cool. It's Graveler who drives me insane. Geodude is a fucking FLOATING ROCK with GUNZ. He's got the largest arms in the world brother. GRAPPLE UP. I have no idea what I just said but that is what I said: They're floating rocks. You ever see a floating rock before? Nope. Geodude: a rock that floats.
Deeper and deeper, not even a barricade to keep me out of areas. What's to stop me from damaging one of these support beams, huh?
...they have dwarves helping them in here.
Watching intently.
:O!
"Keep them boulders in line. Makes an example to all the geodudes around."
..wait you're the coal mining gym leader who's a dad-beatin' super tough trainer?
D:/
"Great guys, bought me a few rounds. A+ would hang out with again."
Whoaaly hell.
>:T
Yea you stay in that pink ball.
Onix
Onix has a magnet in its brain that acts as a compass while this Pokémon is tunneling. It twists and squirms through the ground—the thunderous roar of its tunneling echoing a long way. Onix always eats large boulders and causes tremors as it bores through the ground at speeds of 50 MPH. The tunnels it leaves are used as homes by Diglett. As it grows older, its body becomes increasingly rounder and smoother, yet harder and similar to black-colored diamonds.
Choro Notes: Onix has one of the highest defensive stats in the game on top of its Rock-typing, so whittling one down can be testing of one's patience. However it's pitiful Sp.def gives you the easy option of defeating it. Same-typing as Geodude gives it the same crippling 4x weaknesses, too...
HulkaMatt Notes: When I was a kid I thought Onix was absolutely the most bad ass pokemon of all time. Did you see how it fucking destroyed Pikachu? Holy shit, that was brutal. Like, I made it a point to catch Onix immediately and CRUSH MY OPPONENTS!!! I didn't understand why wrap didn't destroy people in one hit though.
Well since he mentioned it...
Bingo.
Machop
Machop's muscles are special - they never get sore no matter how much they are used in exercise. Its strength lets it easily hoist a sumo wrestler onto its shoulders. This species exercises by hefting around a Graveler as if it were a barbell. There are some Machop that travel the world in a quest to master all kinds of martial arts.
Choro Notes: Machop's No Guard ability is unique. It makes all of Machop's attacks 100% accurate but also makes all attacks AGAINST Machop 100% accurate. (I love catching Machamps with my Kingler or Crawdaunt's Guillotines.
) All in all he's an average Fighting-type all around.HulkaMatt Notes: FUCKIN WRASSLORS RIGHT HERE. I love them because they chop. And can grapple with the best of em'. They're tougher than leather. Fuck, whats with all the first gens?
And the other thing that lives here:
Ponyta
Ponyta is very weak at birth. It can barely stand up. About an hour after birth, its fiery mane and tail grow out, giving it an impressive appearance. This Pokémon becomes stronger by stumbling and falling to keep up with its parent. Its body is light, and its legs are incredibly powerful. It can clear Uluru in one leap. Its hooves are ten times harder than diamond. It can stomp anything completely flat in little time.
Choro Notes: In Diamond and Pearl, if you wanted a Fire-type and didn't start with Chimchar this was literally it. Platinum adds a few more solid ones we'll see later. Ponyta itself is pretty average. Nothing really to say about it.
HulkaMatt Notes: By this point if you don't have a fire pokémon, Ponyta is the way to go. They're really not bad at all: they're fast and have some cool moves and can easily last you until the end of the game
Ok! Now let's do this gym thing. Can't be too tough.
..no. We're not doing that.
Choro Notes: The Oreburgh City Gym's gimmick is stairs. That's it. You go up the stairs you ignore trainers. Fuck that though.
Yeeeeah he has a Geodude. That's it.
It's rocky.
Less rocky, more long-haired and freaky.
Aren't Rock-types really easy to defeat as long as you don't try to just scratch them all day?
...was the whole toughness a semi-rock pun?
ROARK FIGHT.
Music: Sinnoh Gym Leader Battle
Nothing out of the ordinary here.
Choro Notes: Fury Cutter
Fury Cutter increases in power with each successive use, after 3 uses it's enough to fuck over this geodude:
Snake, now remember how Onix has really high defense? And how being a rock-type resists Bug-type attacks?
This was enough to drop him to the red before a rock throw finished off poor Viola.
Dom makes the save again hell yes Dom.
WHAT?! YOU CAN'T USE A DINOSAUR. THAT'S CHEATING.
Choro Notes: Cranidos is a tough lil' bastard. He's not Rock/Ground like Geodude and Onix so he doesn't have their 4x weaknesses. He's also pretty quick and has a beastly attack stat. It's also fond of headbutting which can cause your Pokémon to flinch often.
Oop, turns out you just gotta razor leaf it TEEHEE
Well done, Dom. Celebrate with me!
...no, no birds right now.
Don't stick your hand in there, Roark.
Score.
Stealth Rock
Type:
Class: Status
Power: n/a
Accuracy: 100%
The user lays a trap of levitating stones around the foe. The trap hurts foes that switch into battle.
Choro Notes: Stealth Rock. Fuck Stealth Rock. If an opponent's monster enters the field after you throw rocks on the field they take damage. It's affected by type to, so a fighting type will take less damage but a bug will take more. Monsters like Charizard will enter the field and take 50% of their HP's damage away. As silly as competitive Pokémon is as a concept, Stealth Rock is the stupidest fucking idea ever and completely makes Charizard, Articuno, Scyther, etc. liabilities/dead weight.
And I'll have 'em all.