Pokémon Platinum - #45. Catching a Bunch of Shit

#45: Catching a Bunch of Shit

Hmmhum hmmhmm hmmmm hmm-hmm-hmm

Hahahahahahahaha

_{Choro Notes:}This pond has a unique property: it's ONLY populated by Magikarp BUT they can occur from Level 1 to 100. It's the only place you can capture a L.100 monster, making Magikarp ironically the highest leveled wild monster one can encounter in the series.

I can hear harpsichords in my head, just looking at this building.

I—

I. . . I'm gonna go see that stuff Prof. Oak wanted. :<

He said it was south of Sandgem so I guess we head that way!

Hold steady, Lyudmila. Fish check.

So majestic!

This is a very nice fishing rod.

Lumineon

_{Lumineon swimming in the darkness of the deep sea look like
stars shining in the night sky. Lumineon lives on the deep-sea floor. It
attracts prey by flashing the patterns on its four tail fins. To avoid
detection by predators, it crawls along the seafloor using its long
front fins like legs. It competes for food with Lanturn.

Choro Notes: Lumineon are underrated and it's mostly under the
"There are too many fucking water-types" clause. I'm fine with that
though! Fish own.

Zorak Notes: Finneon, except finnier. That's all there is to say on the matter.

HulkaMatt Notes: Fuuuck that's a smug looking fish. Gives no
fucks. Just wants to swim. Seriously look at it. He's just like supppppp
*swims away*

Zorak named this}

Fishing as we travel~

Oh hey, you're not from Sinnoh are you?

I guess they're just so far down nobody noticed!

Chinchou

_{Chinchou lives in depths beyond sunlight's reach. On the dark
ocean floor, its only means of communication is its constantly flashing
lights. Chinchou's two antennas are filled with cells that generate
strong electricity. This Pokémon's cells create so much electrical
power, it even makes itself tingle slightly. Chinchou lets loose
positive and negative electrical charges from its two antennas to make
its prey faint. This Pokémon flashes its electric lights to exchange
signals with others.

Choro Notes: Oh hey, this one's not shiny. /:D

Zorak Notes: WHY DO YOU HAVE FEET?!?!?! YOU ARE A FISH, THEY DON'T EVEN FIT.

HulkaMatt Notes: These guys are awesome!!! Water Pokemon that
can withstand ELECTRIC ATTACKS and also dish out some of its own!!!
Clearly one of the more dominant pokémon, and they look nice also. They
shock enemies and make em go ANGGLAAAAARGGGGGHH

TyrsHTML named this.}

I wonder how many of these are left. . .
_{Choro Notes: There are four plates still hidden in Sinnoh, the Ground, Fire, Grass & Rock-type plates.}

Who knew this was even down here? Not me!

_{Choro Notes: The Pure Incense is Chimecho's incense, letting you get Chingling eggs.}

I've met your kind before, 'woodo. Nice try.

Sudowoodo

_{Despite appearing to be a tree, its body is closer to rocks and
stones. It is very weak to water. It stands along paths pretending to be
a tree. If it starts raining, it seems to disappear. Sudowoodo
camouflages itself as a tree to avoid being attacked by enemies.
However, because the forelegs remain green throughout the year, the
Pokémon is easily identified as a fake during the winter. If a tree
branch shakes when there is no wind, it's a Sudowoodo, not a tree.

Choro Notes: Sudowoodo own. Their gimmick is pretty funny when you use them against new players and it works!

Zorak Notes: QUICKEST WAY TO FIND A SUDOWOODO: set everything on fire. Whatever remains? Bam.

HulkaMatt Notes: IT'S A TREE.

I wish I could tell you who named this but I don't remember! It is the best Sudowoodo name ever, though.}

Grab this, continue in house!

What, no way.
_{Choro Notes: Belts Guy}
I can't do this! I just don't have a monster that high! So here's what this guy does. Every day he asks for a different level monster at random. The first time you do this you get a Black Belt, which boosts the power of Fighting-type moves. The second time you get an Expert Belt, which boosts the power of super effective moves. And finally the third time you get a Focus Sash, which is pretty neat. If the holder is at 100% HP, and would be KOd in one hit (say a Torterra getting hit by Ice Beam) the holder will lose the sash, but survive the hit with 1 HP. After that the belt cycle repeats.

Spread the cross scissory goodness!

Hello Professor!

"It's a customs, type of thing, really."

_{Choro Notes: Pal Park}
Pal Park is a wonderful place that I can't do! What it's used for is moving monsters from gen3 to gen4. You stock the park with six monsters from a gba game per day and you're tasked with recatching them as fast as you can. (You have balls that can't fail/the monsters don't fight back). Do you remember how in Gen2, Fuchsia City's Safari Zone was shut down? In HGSS it's been replaced with a Pal Park. Kind of clever!

Oh boy.

vOv

the Sinnoh Region.
I'll possibly swing by there! I've got nothing else to do and my self esteem is shot!

Scratch that last part!

—Today's swarm monster!— Appears outside of Pal Park on Route 221

Can't wait to eat that duck.

Farfetch'd

_{Farfetch'd is always seen with a stick from a plant of some
sort. Apparently, there are good sticks and bad sticks. This Pokémon has
been known to fight with others over sticks. If anyone tries to disturb
where the essential plant sticks grow, it uses its own stick to thwart
them. It defends its stalk from attackers with its life. If it eats the
plant stalk it carries as emergency rations, it runs off in search of a
new stalk. In order to prevent their extinction, more people have made
an effort to breed these Pokémon.

Choro Notes: Farfetch'd, the sword duck. Lots of people want him to get an evolution but I love him for the horrible joke that he is!

Zorak Notes: I goddamn love you Farfetch'd. From your awesome
ducky-ness to your sweet hand wings to your badass sword-leek. You are
SO PRO. If you do not have a Farfetch'd or never have had a Farfetch'd
any point of time, you are probably TERRIBLE AND SHOULD QUIT POKEMON.

HulkaMatt Notes: Farfetch'd is a PROUD duck. Don't fuck with
this duck or he'll whack you with a god damned stick. Does not take any
sass. An overall badass. I know. I'm a professor. DUCKS RULE.

Zorak named this.

Choro Notes: The Poké Radar monster for this route are the
Nidorans and their evolved forms Nidorina/Nidorino. But for the love of
me I could not get anything that wasn't Roselia, Floatzel or Farfetch'd
to appear. SO MANY FARFETCH'D.}

If I recall, I made a mental note that there was more stuff here!

We are water-capable now! >B)

The elderly are things.

_{I actually feel bad for saying that now.}

I'm gonna ruin you old man.

GIVE IN?

Oopawwwww~

Self-Esteem++!

Ground-type Plate ++!

Let's get the hell out of this hole!

North! To Eterna!

After 20 minutes of Starly, Budew and Kricketots. . .

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU ARE NOT STARLY, BUDEW OR KRICKETOT FINALLY.

Sunkern

_{Sunkern tries to move as little as it possibly can. It does so
because it tries to conserve all the nutrients it has stored in its body
for its evolution. It will not eat a thing, subsisting only on morning
dew. It suddenly falls out of the sky in the morning. A year after a
cold summer, their population explodes. It may plummet from the sky. If attacked by a Spearow, it will violently shake its leaves.

Choro Notes: Sunkern has the lowest total stats of any known
monster. However! In HGSS's Pokéthon or whatever it's got the highest
possible! Go figure!

Zorak Notes: Literally the worst ever. It's a statistical fact.

HulkaMatt Notes: A grass pokémon I have never raised. I imagine
these little guys are the constant prey of random birds. I can't imagine
they get around very often so they just like to kick back, have some
morning dew and relax. That's my kind of Pokemon right there.

Me and TyrsHTML simultaneously came up with this mediocre name.}

Going to make a sweater out of y—

ok no I'm just going to catch you.

Mareep

_{Mareep's fluffy coat of wool rubs together and builds a static
charge. The more static electricity is charged, the more brightly the
lightbulb at the tip of its tail grows. Its fleece grows continually. In
the summer, the fleece is fully shed, but it grows back in a week. It
stores lots of air in its soft fur, allowing it to stay cool in summer
and warm in winter.

Choro Notes: Mareep are fucking cute! There's not much to them! Sheep -> Sheep -> Llama!

Zorak Notes: BLUE => PINK => YELLOW

HulkaMatt Notes: Mareep are fantastic and used to be criminally -
CRIMINALLY - underused pokémon. They're god damned adorable and evolve
into a bigger cute sheep and then finally, some sort of Kangaroo. You
all should be god damned ashamed of yourselves for not recognizing how
great these lil guys were before HG/SS came out. WOOL}

You can usually find wonderful things in the waters around power plants!

Pbbbbft!

Pbbbbbbbbft!

Shellder

_{At night, this Pokémon uses its broad tongue to burrow a hole in
the seafloor sand and then sleep in it. While it is sleeping, Shellder
closes its shell, but leaves its tongue hanging out. It is encased in a
shell that is harder than diamond. Inside, however, it is surprisingly
tender. Clamping on to an opponent reveals its vulnerable parts, so it
uses this move only as a last resort. It swims backward by opening and
closing its two shells. It is surprisingly fast. Grains of sand trapped
in its shells mix with its body fluids to form beautiful pearls.

Choro Notes: Shellder are fucking cute and they're rude lil'
fuckers. That's really all there is to say. Special Attacks tend to KO
them right off!

Zorak Notes: A video

HulkaMatt Notes: Shellder are awesome. Like, they're sassy as
fuck don't get me wrong but they're quality water pokémon. Like, you get
near it suddenly it'll be like BLUBLUBLU and spray you with ink then
evolve into a giant spiky shell and beat the shit out of you. I like em.}

CONTINUING!

The PokéRadar drove it above ground!

How strange, all these invasive species I'm seeing today.

Nincada

_{Nincada lives underground for many years in complete darkness.
It uses its sharp claws to carve the roots of trees and absorb moisture
and nutrients. This Pokémon can't withstand bright sunlight so avoids
it. It stays stationary as it waits for evolution.

Zorak Notes: Nincada is pretty fucking awesome. It evolves into two really awesome bugs at the SAME TIME. From Cicada nymph to a ghostshellninja and a ninjacincada.

HulkaMatt Notes: Nincadas are ninjas in training. They hope to
one day grow up and be as swift and awesome just like their dad. They
evolve when they have finished their anime ninja training (this is only
accomplished when they start watching Dragonball instead of Naruto).
Pretty determined bugs.

Good Listener named this}

. . .

. . .

Slowpoke

_{Incredibly slow and dopey. It takes 5 seconds for it to feel
pain when under attack. Slowpoke uses its tail to catch prey by dipping
it in water at the side of a river. However, this Pokémon often forgets
what it's doing and often spends entire days just loafing at water's
edge. Although slow, it is skilled at fishing with its tail. It does not
feel pain if its tail is bitten. A sweet sap leaks from its tail's tip.
Although not nutritious, the tail is pleasant to chew on.

Choro Notes: Sp.Defensive walls. Slowpoke are notoriously annoying to get in Gen3, only found in LeafGreen and that's IT.

Zorak Notes: Shellder. Is. Pretty. Cool.

HulkaMatt Notes: Slowpokes are the definition of taking it easy.
They take their time doin whatever the hell they wanna do and then they
go fishing. They're happy lil guys. Team Rocket were infinitely worse
than Team Galaxy because they removed these pokémons tails for
literally no reason other than profit (who the fuck would buy a slowpoke
tail?). Slowpoke are awesome pokémon to raise. They'll be your bro.}

Eterna city! I bet I know where Prof. Oak is staying, even!

Oh hey! A Slowpoke!

You're not as gruff as Prof. Rowan but you have the same gentlemanly charm to you. Are all Pokémon professors like that? Just cool, gruff old dudes? I wonder.