Pokemon Crystal

by Chorocojo

Part 37

I wonder where Lance is...

Hey Lance I-

Oh my god you just incinerated that guy with Hyper Beam!

J-Jesus christ that was violent.

lol, stairs.

Right Cap'n! Velma, Shaggy, you're with me.

DAMMIT SHAGGY. YOU'VE FAILED ME FOR THE LAST TIME.

Ehhh, ehhhhhh!

Oh. Is that it?

I love this lil' crab.

GET 'EM VELMA! Velma? Oh goddammit Velma.

Yeah. :I

GASP

...Thanks?

OH GOD THEY'RE SO CONSPICUOUS!

again

IT must be- OH GOD ANGPH, LOOK AWAY.

Obviously they are hiding in the basement.

Shaggy and Velma are dead, Lance. DEAD.

Shaggy got picked off by the poison darts from the walls.

And Velma... Well, ever see what Raticates can do to the human face? It's not pretty.

YEA! But mainly for the cute ones!

Hey wait, don't leave me.

Ah, dammit.

Yeah.

You guys get all the cool stuff. Awesome hats, secret passwords, an abandoned ninja hideout.

OH GOD.

IT WANTS MY BLOOD.

So far everything in here has been beaten by a Rock-throwing crab.

Yea, your Golbat's kinda laying in the corner over there all broken.

Aww, maaaan.

Oh god, why is he all singed and bleeding?

Ehhhhhh..

I saw him incinerate a guy before we came in here. It smelled kinda like Hotdogs

Yeah.

Aww, always with the fighting.

Yea? Yea?!

GAWRSH!

Yes?

Er.. ok.

RATICATE!

FOR VELMAAAA!

...eew.

Well I-

Yeah. :/

D:> What are you doing here?!

Oh right...

That was Lance. :I

Man, I saw that Dragonite turn a guy into a skeleton. I'm not sure there is anything stronger.

I've seen you hit them with wrenches.

You've lost to me several times, and I use a Wooper.

But I-

Wait, where was I? Oh right.

ice

....who?

I have a wonderful mental image of this guy constantly calling Giovanni's cell phone asking him to come back.

I have no idea what's going on.

Jesus, why stand guard? You could of just left a bunch of Forretress or Voltorbs down here.

If you play Maxie and Archie's battle theme from RSE, this fight is cooler.

vv

...meep

Does he even care?

Can I use the intercom?!

Oh god... I can communicate with Murkrow. My superpowers suck.


Thief

So many passwords.

Do I haaaave to?

Oh god they're gonna put me in a cage.

You guys developed a machine to make Magikarp angry, and I'm ruining your pride?

No, no I probably could.

I'm not a baby...

Zer- ER, Lance!

I was doing all the work.

What?

I dunno, calling yourself "Interim Boss" kinda kills the effect.

Oh right, we're fighting!

Tiny crab vs. Giant cobra! The victor is obvious

<Claude> I pinch... :I

Hey, what wins? Flying/Psychic or Grass/Poison.

Awesomeness incarnate vs. Jackass Raven!

Hey, can I order one of you guys's hats?

Oh I'm totally making a fort outta this place.

My Fort'll be better than yours.

The power to piss off fish?

Ok. :I

How come you took the one I had already weakened and left me to fight the strong one?

|:(

He's a meanieface.

Oh right.

It's full of internets, isn't it?

INTERNET!

AL GORE LOOK WHAT YOU'VE BEGAT!

So the internet is powered by electrodes. Wow.

At least they aren't cute and fuzzy.

...darnit.

Ok guys.. It's ok, Roxy's here.

Let me tell you about the rabbits.
SUDDENLY!

Oh shit. If that one exploded... Shouldn't the shockwaves-

But at what cost.

Well that's good.

I did it mainly for the cute ones.

PRESENT?!

Er. Thanks... I guess.

Well I mean, thanks for the gesture, but they don't even use these in other regions anymore. It's not very good. :/

Becoming the what now?

This is the first I heard about it.

Yeah, you're confused. We're the game, not the anime.

No, I left because my neighbor is a crazy jerk who gave me a whacko crocodile monster. And now that I left it with my mother I can't ever return.

Yeah, bye, Lance. Sorry I suck as a detective.