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Music: Unova Route 2 - (Fall - Winter)
Choro Notes: While Diamond, Pearl and Platinum had different variations of songs for different times of day, Black and White have songs for different seasons.

#04. I Need a Reservation for *Counts on Fingers* Hold On


Mom! Mom! Mom! I met a guy with weird eyes and he had a cat and then and then and then at the park the wizards were talking!

"Eat it, nerd."

"Nah I'm just messin' with ya, sugar."

Oh! They conveniently look exactly like my boots! Good! Now I won't look different visually!

Mom. :I

"Just occasionally. Do whatever you want, sugar. You room's still a wreck, by the way."

Kickin' boots and words of loving wisdom, I never asked for this.

Oh, it's one of those cats that are immune to aliens.


Purrloin steal from people for fun, but their victims can't help but forgive them. Purrloin appear to do this just to see the looks on their victims' faces. Its cute act is a ruse that works perfectly. When victims let down their guard, they find their items missing. It attacks with sharp claws.
Choro Notes: It's like Poochyena but not as cool. They're complete assholes if you somehow picked the psychic-type starter! Als- Wait. . . .
Zorak Notes: Purrloin is kind of dull and that's all I have to say on the matter.
Hulka Notes: Team Rocket Cat. Purrloin reminds me of team rocket. I like cats and all but have never ever wanted to raise one personally. Now when they EVOLVE that's a different story. Then they're awesome.
Choro Notes: HulkaMatt, Liepard are pretty bad.
Hulka Notes: Wait, they don't evolve into Purugly? Oh, well fuck Purrloin then Jesus fucking Christ.
Neeksy named this
Now we can fight cat with cat.

Look! Look at it!

>Hell yes.

Oh. Oh that was it?

You haven't played outside much have you? It's a ledge.

I can beat cute!

. . . . shit.

Choro Notes: This goes almost exactly like the battle with N except this one gets a lot of critical hits!

Choro Notes: Yeah I sort of almost lost and it only came down to the newly captured Aleister. Purrloins are shaming the hell out of me here.

Isn't a purrloin so I'm fine!

Ooh. . .

Choro Notes: Heal Block!
Heal Block

PP: 15
Power: —
Accuracy: 100%
For five turns, the user prevents the opposing team from using any moves, Abilities, or held items that recover HP.
This doesn't prevent items like Potions from healing, however. It does basically shut off certain abilities like Volt Absorb but. . . Oh well, maybe a use can be found.

I guess! She just learned it!

Ah! Sorry! I was trying out my kickin' new boots, yeah they're nice.

Haha yeah we can do that!

Music: Battle! Cheren & Bianca

Ah! A puppy! That seems like a good match for you!

Good! Good! Oop, hold on a sec.

Ok yeah we're good now.

Alright, stare it down with your ferocious puppy eyes, Wookiee.

That's a good trick. . . RAMMING SPEED.

Uh. . . I dunno.

Aww. . .

No, no I guess that's fair!

. . . that was an awful lot of rakes across the face. Is Lublub ok or?

Choro Notes: Assist uses a random move of any other monster currently in the party with it. Aleister could totally use Confusion right now . . . if he lucked into hitting it over Wookiee's Leer or Xanadu's Growl. It's got potential to be good! but. . . not right now.

You did good though!



Music: Striaton City

I could use knowledge I guess, why not! Maybe I'll get to be Xanadu smart!

Hey Cheren what are y—

. . . did you draw this? It's pretty good.

Yeah sure we can do that.

Ok you test your items I'll test my new move!

Choro Notes: Imagine the N battle again but now the cat randomly breathes fire via Assist. I'll spare you the 10 minutes of battle this took me

Choro Notes: Yeah that happened.

Well hot dang, I'mma eat these right away!
Choro Notes: Berries
Berries are items that can be held or just eaten by Pokémon flat out. When certain conditions are met (low HP, being hit by certain attacks, etc) the holder will eat the berry automatically and get a specific effect. Oran Berries restore a little HP.

Oh, I'm supposed to fight you according to my short friend.


"Hold. . . hold on."

"Hey, HEY do we have any ghost-types in there?"

". . . no?"

". . . Hold on."

"Hey Cress, hand me that knife."

Why is everyone asking me this lately? They always look at me like I'm weird and then they convulse for a second before ignoring it.

Yeah sure, alright.


Panpour do not thrive in dry environments. They keep damp by shooting water stored in its head tuft from its tail. The water stored inside the tuft is full of nutrients. Plants that receive its water grow large.
Choro Notes: Imagine if you ordered sea monkeys and got a packet of freeze dried panpours. Panpour is kind of a pseudo-starter set with his other monkey brothers. Except they all kind of. . . stop being useful really quickly. Frankly their entire biology disgusts me.
Zorak Notes: These are all the same and kind of awful in every way.
Hulka Notes: A very frilly monkey. As long as you don't let it evolve they look pretty keen. However, there really isn't anything special about them. (At least I don't think so.)
Kazy named this


Gosh you're a sure kind fella.

Is all the screaming back there normal or . . . ?

Choro Notes: The gimmick of this gym is step on the tile that beats the one on the curtain. There is no penalty for stepping on a wrong tile so.

"Yeah, we couldn't get a ghost-type and also Cress was being a baby about getting stabbed. With a knife. Repeatedly.

"It's arbitrary as hell and I can't claim to care enough about it to give a damn!'


Music: Battle! Unova Gym Leader

Choro Notes: Chili
I can't say there's a ton about Chili and his brothers. They're. . . barely qualified to be Gym Leaders, to be honest! They all start with Lillipup and then throw out the monkey of the type that beats your starter. WOO

Choro Notes: Work Up does this. It's annoying. Both attack stats go up. This can be annoying if you let them repeatedly use it!

Spoilers! I let it use it 6 times. You know, as a joke! To be fair though I also Leer'd at it 6 times.

Oh. Oh maybe I shouldn't have let it do that! It's like a blur of worked up puppy!

Ok, yes this was a terrible idea. Let's salvage it!

Herpa derp!

Oh, yours is on fire. . . .

Oop, left your big ol' brain open!

Choro Notes: Had Xanadu been holding a berry, Incinerate would have burnt it to cinders but whatever/

Well then. . .

That. . . wasn't so hard. At all. Even with your quantum hyper pup.

Choro Notes: Marginally useful: it resets the target's evasion to normal but ALSO allows psychic-type moves to hit Dark-types.

. . . I get it!

Ah, AH!

I'll cherish this forever. FOREVER.

Well. . . why wouldn't they? They don't seem fragile at all. What a silly thing to say.

Is that why y'all are dressed as waiters?

:D . . .

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