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Chapter 31: <Durrr, look at me, I'm Sammy and I'm stupid and dumb and I smell.>
Well huh. . . this shit sucks.
Oh, well there's a—
Oh-oh man. . . that was . . . guuuugh . . .
Oh, hey there, yea, don't mind helping the girl retching over here.
<Oh you're fine.>
<bleh bleh bleh bleh I am annoying you. Eh neh neh neeeeh>
OUT OF MY HEAD, DEMON.
. . .
Ya know, come to think of it . . . doesn't Smash Bros. say something about Jigglypuffs?
. . . huh. Come to think of it..
This Balloon Pokémon invites its opponents in close with its big, round eyes and then puts them to sleep with a soothing lullaby. It puffs itself up when angry, and while it may look adorable, it's not to be trifled with; it knows several powerful techniques. Jigglypuff evolves into Wigglytuff after exposure to a Moon Stone.
HOLY CRAP I LEARNED BIOLOGY FROM A VIDEO GAME.
#040. Wigglytuff J:Pukurin G:Knuddeluff J:Grodoudou
Height: 3'03" Weight: 26.5 lbs
Habitat: Grasslands Types: Normal
Stage1: Evolves from Jigglypuff
Wigglytuff has large, saucerlike eyes. The surfaces of its eyes are always covered with a thin layer of tears. If any dust gets in this Pokémon's eyes, it is quickly washed away. This specie's body is very flexible. By inhaling deeply, it can inflate itself seemingly without end. Once inflated, Wigglytuff bounces along lightly like a balloon. When angered, it increases its size and has been known to charge at those threatening it. Its fur is the ultimate in luxuriousness. Sleeping alongside one is said to be simply divine. When two of this species meet, they often feel each other's fur.
<I can reead your miiiiind. oooOOOOOooooooooo>
That. . . really doesn't bother me.
<I see you like video games . . . >
Well, yea, that should be obvious.
<Wait, that's it?>
<Well, I just made a— Y-You never played Metal Gear Solid?>
It's on my to-do list!!!! ]:I
Awww, but he was so nice.
Uh . . .
We'll get this...
Umm . . .
OH GOD OTORO WE'RE DOOMED. WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET OUT OF HERE AND THEY'LL FIND OUR BONES AND THEY'LL BE ALL. "Oh look at that stupid girl and her blob. Couldn't even figure out a confusing maze." OTORO. I AM TOO YOUNG TO BE A SKELETON. Why did I imagine my skeleton with no clothes?
Oh. Tch, Otoro you shoulda saw yourself, you were so scared.
You have security cameras in this place, I'm su<No, don't do that. I can tell you did it with all the other gym leaders. Don't interrupt me.>
.oO(Stupid gym leader having stupid psychic powers.)
<My powers aren't stupid.>
.oO(Oh c'mon, how are you talking and mind speak talking at the same time?)
<I'm the damn leader, I'm that good.>
GOD LET'S JUST DO THIS.
<By the way, you're just getting a badge out of this, I'm not giving you a Psychic-type.>
Wait . . . what you were gonna be Bowser
<Yea, no I'm not doing that.>
You don't get to pick your own intro within my own mind
<You turned Erika into a tree.>
Yea well did you have to pick Final Fantasy? Also why in the hell are we so badly rendered
<Hey. Hey. Fuck You.>
Real mature there Sabrina, real mature.
<Hey, I don't have to impress you. Hell I just sit here perfectly still and people are all "oh look at that Sabrina, she's so cool and calm!">
Wow, this is pretty unexpected, actually.
<Yeah, it's a pretty sweet gig.>
Yeah, well, that bodysuit makes your ass look fat.
<No, it doesn't, you know this. Telepathy, remember?>
Stupid clown, why won't you go down?!
OH COME ON. HOW MANY OF THOSE DO YOU HAVE?
<The back room's full of them. Silph Co. gives em to gym leaders for free. It's kind of like free advertising>
Oh c'mon, that's not even Psychic-type.
<What sort of dumbass only uses one type?>
<Come to think of it, you sure do have a lot of Normal-types.>
<Cocky little freak.>
What the HELL was that?
<I-I don't . . . know?>
Was. . . was that an F-Bomb?
<I'm actually a little scared . . . >
<I think we just heard purest rage. Unfettered and Raw.>
Oh hey, now w—
Ah. . . k. Gotcha.
Well huh, that was actually pretty cool.
<Totally heard that.>
The Next Morning
". . . Huh, well there's trouble."
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